In a 1939 radio address, Franklin Delano Roosevelt stated that “repetition does not transform a lie into truth.” Nearly seventy years later, it is miraculous how his words seem tailor-made to rebuke the Bush administration’s strategy in Iraq. Before the invasion, the American people were told repeatedly that Iraq represented a direct danger to our interests — Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction (not really), Saddam had strong connections with al Qaeda (ouch, wrong again) — and 933 other Bush administration lies and canards (Jumping Jesuits, Batman!). Sorry George, we aren’t studying for a Graves test; repetition doesn’t work like that. As if Bush would know anyways. The last time he studied something he was trying to understand the deeper meaning of The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

In 2003, swept up in post-911 patriotic fervor, citizens of the United States were willing to accept any drastic steps deemed necessary to defeat the “terrorists.” Billed as the Pepto-Bismol for world stability, Iraq was that step. Five years later, we’ve created more terrorists than ever existed before, we are faltering in our mission in Afghanistan, and increasingly Iraq looks like a colossal imbroglio from which we will never escape. I may differ from the “loyal Bushies” and other right-leaning acolytes, but I refuse to accept that supporting a blatantly colonial war in a country that Ms. South Carolina couldn’t even point out on a map is representative of “American” ideals. Considering the loss of American lives that President Bush’s project has wrought, the only appropriate American stance on the war in Iraq is to stand firmly against it. I, therefore, agree with leading Democrats (and many Republicans) for a phased withdrawal from Iraq. Let’s elaborate, shall we?

So What’s the Plan?

A friend told me that the problem with the Iraq war is that there is no clear exit. I agree, anonymous friend. We are lost in the consequences of American superiority: in our innocence and beliefs in America’s exceptionalism inculcated since kindergarten, we are lost in a pre-Vietnam confidence in our own power. There will be no easy exit strategy. True. But there will also be no clear victory. At what point can we declare that “we” have won? When Iraq becomes the 51st state? We are in over our heads as a nation; and sadly, no action in Iraq will foster a miraculous hegira back to glory, nor will they win us allies and supporters around the world. We need to stop kidding ourselves – Iraq will never be the secular nation we are attempting to create, because religion and Islam are too important to its culture and history. Thus, the best strategy is withdrawal. As the expression goes, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”  Let’s get going. Barack Obama proposes a 16-month full withdrawal from Iraq. But let’s clear up a common misconception about such a withdrawal – we aren’t abandoning the Iraqis in a torrent without an umbrella. The Obama plan mandates soldiers to stay in Iraq and to protect embassies and diplomats. If al Qaeda should attempt to create a stronghold in Iraq once we are gone, U.S. forces stationed in Iraq will carry out strikes on their terrorist positions. “But Brad,” you say in an insouciant voice. “Why would we want to take our soldiers out of Iraq?” Fearless reader, I’m glad you asked….

Just Like Governor Spitzer’s Hookers, Iraq’s Been Costly

Every war requires an honest evaluation of the costs of battle in comparison to the benefits. From the first days of shock and awe to 2008 (Wait, the mission was accomplished in May 2003? Right?), more than 95,000 Iraqi civilians have died. And 4,031 American soldiers have lost their lives thousands of miles away from their families, friends, and homeland. We cannot eschew these statistics or their implications unless we are willing to complacently and naively hand over our lives (and those of Iraqis) to a government in Washington willing to “sacrifice” them on what now seems like a whim.

For those as concerned about money and our economy as about the loss of American lives, the economic costs of this war effort have been equally staggering. The Iraq war has cost the U.S. of A. nearly one trillion dollars. If you consider the impecunious state of the American economy and then imagine adding a booster shot of one trillion dollars back into our economy, the picture becomes clearer and a hell of a lot brighter.

Just Like the Pope at a Tech N9ne Concert, We Shouldn’t Be There

The U.S. invasion of Iraq must also be examined on the basis of international legality. The invasion not only violated the sovereignty of the Iraqi people, but also a majority of international laws. The United States scoffed in the face of The Hague and Geneva Conventions, “which clearly restrict the right of occupying powers to interfere in the internal affairs of an occupied people” (Arnove 68) and quickly assumed the undisputed distinction of “World’s Largest Hypocrite.” We scold China about its human rights abuses and tell the government of Darfur not to wage war against its own people,  while we occupy a sovereign nation in the name of their freedom and ignore a host of  international legal standards.

Just Like Tipsy, Trigger-Happy Security Guards, We’re Aren’t Making Anyone Safer

Recent studies suggest that the American occupation of Iraq has increased, rather than decreased, the number of terrorists (Arnove 76). While accomplishing the opposite of his plans may be a Bush trademark, as a nation, America does not have to continue down this path. Al Qaeda didn’t show up in Iraq until after the invasion, and any ostensible links between Saddam and bin Laden have been proven incorrect. Once George W. Bush leaves office, Osama bin Laden will no longer have an “old, neo-conservative president” to direct his hatred at, and Sunni fighters in Iraq will no longer seek intiqaam (revenge) for the destruction wrought on their families, friends, and property. Once we withdraw from Iraq, the terrorism and insurgency will slowly cease.

Many proponents of continuing the war argue that withdrawal will lead to a regional civil war. These people (who will not, by the way, be joining the army because they have “more important things to do”) obviously don’t read the newspapers. The longer our forces stay in Iraq, the more resistance our occupation breeds. As American forces leave, the predominately-Shiite government has the opportunity to rule without the stigma of being seen as “puppets” of foreign “infidels.” Sunnis would be more likely to meet with Shiite leaders and begin the needed reconciliation process (Nir Rosen). Some proponents of the war insist that al Qaeda would create a stronghold in the region if the U.S. were to withdraw. This is less likely than finding the Golden Ticket. Al Qaeda and other foreign terrorist groups make up a numerically insignificant part of the insurgency. Often overlooked but crucially important is the fact that there are other Middle Eastern nations, and they can serve as regional watchdogs to keep Iraq in check. Iran, Syria, Egypt, and even Israel, all see a peaceful, militarily prostrate Iraq as beneficial to regional stability – and can invest in making sure that happens. Were Iraq to fall into civil turmoil, these nations would ensure minimal fallout. It’s in their vested interest to do so.

Just Like Nixon, You Can’t Cheat The System And Maintain Power

The war in Iraq has damaged our reputation as a nation and as a world power. Much of America’s influence in the international arena lies in what has been termed soft power. “[Soft power] is the ability to get what you want through attraction rather than coercion or payments. It arises from the attractiveness of a country’s culture, political ideals, and policies” (Joseph Nye). Iraq has permanently damaged America’s reserves of soft power. The impact is clear and visible to us all. A homeless man whom I asked for a quote for this article told me that the best way to win an election is to have the most friends. Wise words, sir. In an era where the United States must increasingly compete for the role of international “hegemon” in a global contest with a rapidly growing China and expanding European Union, friends become of the utmost importance. Iraq alienated not only Middle Eastern nations, but European and African nations as well. We must rebuild the trust of these nations to strike up lasting military, economic, and political ties. Withdrawing from Iraq is the first, and most critical, step in this process.

Back in the 17^th century, some dude from England thought it was cool to connect his letters. Then T-Jeff (more commonly referred to as Thomas Jefferson) wrote most of the Declaration of Independence in cursive. Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address in cursive (Yes, history was wrong. It wasn’t Grant’s military ability, but cursive that won the Civil War.). I suppose that it’s been uphill for cursive ever since.

Let’s fast-forward a few years. I’m but a wee, impressionable lad in the 3^rd grade. I’m told about a groundbreaking secret. It is a secret so powerful and so amazing that everything up to this point in my life up will be nullified (Don’t worry. I’m not talking about that weird cult book that people were gobbling up on Amazon.) That secret is called “cursive,” it’s going to revolutionize the way I think about and do my writing. HOT DAMN! Count me in! Talk about excitement. Now I will be honest with you, I really didn’t realize that my writing could be revolutionized. I sort of thought we were done with the innovation after the Phoenicians, Greeks, and Romans. But boy was I wrong! Cursive was going to change things around these parts. I could imagine the cool wind blowing through my hair as I connected those first letters. The beauty of the capital Q that doesn’t look at all like a q (Seriously, did that ever bother anyone else?).

It’s been a few years. I look at my handwriting and those of my peers, and much like the question so often asked about the infamous Waldo, I have to pose this inquiry – “Where’s cursive?” (Or more bluntly “What the hell happened to cursive?”) Finding people who still write in cursive is about as hard as finding a complex, scintillating plot in a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie (If you’ve seen such empty beauties as Street Fighter and Universal Soldier: The Return then you know what I mean). I challenge you to find one 10^th grade student who still writes in cursive. You quickly respond, “BUT WAIT! I DO still write in cursive!” All I have to say in return is, “Quiet Neal, I really don’t want to hear it.” I know from personal experience that trying to decipher Neal’s notes is about as easy as it is for an eight-year old to try his hands at decoding Sanskrit. Neal and his cursive are usually the last ones to finish writing down class notes. I would go so far as to argue that cursive has, in some ways, been detrimental to Neal’s scholarship. You think he’s smart now; imagine where Neal would be without cursive! If you’re thinking a bridge-building, crime-fighting, king of the universe, you’re probably not too far off. But let’s move away from our Desai discussion (I love alliteration), shall we?.

It’s the year 2007. I’m older than that awed 3^rd grader, and computers permeate my existence. I don’t write in twenty-feet tall, little-kid letters anymore and as sure as I am about the Laws of Buoyancy and the fact that MTV is destroying our youth (Wild n’ Out? Come on. Ridiculous spelling aside, that show is about as funny as Jamie Kennedy on a bad day.), I don’t write in cursive any more. Have the hours I spent learning this ancient art-form helped me in my schooling? To answer that I pose this counter-question: Did Iraq help Bush’s popularity? Point proven.

So here I am, older, arguably wiser, and still waiting to be awed. I’ve got my ticket in hand, I’m wearing a nice little metaphorical suit jacket (Tweed, if you were wondering), holding my pleasant metaphorical suitcase, and I’m still waiting for the innovation train to stop by and rock my world (Rock of Love anyone? Hopefully the answer is no, because that show is downright trash.). I suppose that soon enough, I’m going to have to accept that cursive is as dead as Jacob Marley (Christmas Carol reference: “…as dead as a doornail.”), Latin (except in Mr. Young’s heart), and Aaron Schwartz’s career (Remember him? The fat kid from Heavy Weights? The one who won the go-kart race? “But he must have had a long, exciting career!” you say. Here’s a challenge: Name one other movie he’s been in since Heavy Weights. Enough said.). Yes, cursive is so dead that even that guy from Man vs. Wild couldn’t polish this turd-of-a-writing-form into something exciting (The man squeezed the water out of elephant shit to fend off dehydration, and I was CAPTIVATED!). But cursive is still around. The big problem seems to be that some people just won’t let this poor, sleeping dog lie.

One Middle School teacher tried to revive it. She required her students to write in cursive — essays, notes, you name it. Which means, that in some bottom drawer or dusty cabinet hidden away in the Middle School, there is a veritable treasure-trove of barely legible, cursively-infused, Middle School essays just waiting to be loved. But 8^th grade seems like a long time to wait for this valuable learning (sarcasm). HAVE NO FEAR, FEARLESS READER! At PHS, we get ‘em started early. Each child gets a complimentary (well it’s hard to call anything at Pembroke complimentary if you look at our yearly tuition) cursive browbeating that will stay with them forever (or until lunch). And let’s face it, my Spidey senses are telling me that the use of cursive throughout their lives has brought few – if any — physical (or even emotional) rewards.

Here are some potential situations:

#377 – After School
“Mommy, I learned cursive today! Look how nice my writing is.”
“That’s nice Jimmy, too bad you’re still a prostrate, little pansy with no friends and low self-esteem.”

#19 – Job Interview
“…And one essential skill that I want to point out is my strong ability to write in beautiful cursive.”
“Well, that’s nice sir. Too bad your resume still says you’re a prostrate pansy with difficulty talking to women and low self-esteem.”

I will admit, I’m not entirely sure that cursive is still taught at Pembroke. Knowing the good ole alma mater, I would assume so. And what will shock your socks off (anything is a saying if I pretend hard enough) — Pembroke is not alone. Schools all around the metro still teach cursive. So seriously, if PHS is still spreading the gospel of cursive, can we finally put that to bed? Cursive is outdated. Let’s teach some important lessons, like, improving math skills, or how to not turn into a humongous douche bag in high school.

As I noted in my prior article (A Letter to Lottie Dietrich – If you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and click that link A.S.A.P. I’ve heard that Mother Theresa cried when she read it.), Pembroke is removing old stuff — old buildings, teachers, and techniques — at breakneck pace. Lottie D. is gone, the old high school is gone, even the early development building has a new name. In the vein of these other developments, I think it’s about time we bid farewell to cursive too.

If my experience mirrors that of other Pembroke students, while also considering the fact I dropped the use of cursive as soon as I arrived in 6^th grade, not knowing cursive will do no harm. Let’s pay the piper (face the facts?): cursive was cool in the 70′s. Do you know what else was cool in the 70′s? Hippies. We don’t teach kids to be hippies in the 3^rd grade, so let’s save them some agony and let cursive go the way of hippie training. Pembroke can take this easy ladder out of the Stone Age. If we want students to take notes quicker, teach them systems for abbreviating common words and phrases. Or even better, let’s just give them laptops (I would LOVE a laptop in case the administration is listening.). Computers are the the future, and I think that the future is getting a little bit impatient. It’s been knocking on our door for quite a long time, and I think it’s about time we let him (or her) in.