Spirit Week

While I’ve been covering Spirit Week all week, and by covering I mean making snide comments to whoever will listen, I would be remiss to not go through the motions and do a quick recap.

Day 1
Day number one was “Hip-Hop” day. “Hip-Hop” day is a perennial favorite at Pembroke, and manages to show up on the Spirit Week schedule year after year. Why? Is it a fundamental lack of imagination? Not at all! Thinking of original day ideas is an incredibly tasking enterprise. I would be completely incapable of doing that right now.

Brad’s List of Themes for Next Year – Continuation of Previously Stated Ideas:

1. Lee Heineman Tuesday© ((You’ll notice that I’ve copyrighted most of the theme concepts, I will obviously be expecting royalties if any of these are accepted. I’m sure we can work something out.)) – Because no one is cooler, and really, no one can do Lee Heineman as well as Lee Heineman can. Inside sources tell me he was planning on breaking out the jumpsuit this week, so there’s that to look forward too as well.
2. Asian Migrant Worker Wednesday© – I think Jack Adams has a nearly perfect physique to really pull this one off.
3. Presidential Candidate Thursday – I have a feeling Ron Paul would be a big hit, because no one brings the sexy quite like Ron. This one of course becomes defunct after this year, so thanks for ruining a great idea PHS.
4. African Animals Friday© ((Special thanks to Peter for this suggestion)) (a.k.a. Safari Friday) – Because having to be on the watch for lions, tigers, and giraffes on my way to lunch has always been a dream. Sure, the 6th graders are dangerous in packs, but that sense of peril gets magnified when they’re wearing monkey outfits.

But the real reason Hip-Hop day manages to keep showing up is likely something deeper. Perhaps we all just enjoy dressing and acting like what we’re not (Rich people with lots of hos?). Or, more simply, maybe sometimes we all just need an excuse to say “Superman that ho!” during Chemistry without getting in trouble.

Day 2
There isn’t a whole lot that needs to be said about NASCAR day. I would, however, like to apologize to local merchants whose entire stock of jean shorts was bought up faster than hotcakes at a fat convention. Something tells me NASCAR day is coming back next year, so don’t burn those shorts and wifebeaters just yet.

Day 3
Crazy day was about what you might expect: lots of bright colors, tights, and other 80′s memories that you wouldn’t have minded not seeing. “You weren’t alive in the 80′s!” Good point. I was, however, alive for a seven-hour marathon of I Love the 80′s on vh1, and that’s all you need to know.

Parade

While the upper-school received a 45-minute assembly to meet our King/Queen candidates, the lower school got an exciting Homecoming parade. This quote from the Pembroke Hill website helps to illustrate what went on at the parade:

The celebration included a Homecoming Parade on the Wornall campus on [Friday] which featured cheerleaders, athletes, Roscoe, The Raider and the king and queen candidates riding in convertibles. There was even a fire truck – very impressive to the students in the early childhood and lower schools!

“OH MY GOD! A FIRETRUCK? CHRIST ON A CRACKER! A REAL, LIVE FIRETRUCK?” Here’s a little known fact for you: Pembroke Hill lower schoolers have never seen firetrucks before in their lives. That Pembroke Hill education can teach you twenty-six (unless they’ve invented new ones since I left.) life skills, but practical, everyday knowledge it cannot. As the myth goes, when a firetruck comes into their sight for the very first time, these munchkins reach a state of artificial ecstasy rivaling that produced by any drug.

I guess the more reasonable question is, “What the F does a firetruck have to do with Homecoming?” From the scientific work I did on this mystery, which included searching for Homecoming on Wikipedia, I’ve found that firetrucks and Homecoming historically have nothing to do with each other.

Football

No one expected this game to be close, but that said, a little trash-talking is due:
University-Academy can take their intellectual cheers and commitment to education home with them, along with the 35 to 14 beating we handed out. “35-14 doesn’t seem like such a beating…” Oh ye’ of little faith and constant need for contradiction; all of University-Academy’s points came against our third string offense and defense. That’s like celebrating being the smartest student in remedial math.

The Dance

For all of the five minutes that most people actually stayed at the dance, it was a tremendous hit. But everyone knows that the dance isn’t really the most exciting part of the Homecoming experience. There’s really no need to go in-depth, so I’ll leave the rest of the night to your respective imaginations.

Having experienced all of that, Spirit Week and Homecoming are done, and everything goes back to normal. For a little while, at least. Until next time, you stay classy Kansas City.

P.S. This is the shortest article I’ve written in a long time.