Debate campers do not like when people play rather competitive basketball games outside their windows at night. This would not be such a problem if it didn’t turn out that there was only one, and poorly lighted at that, outdoor basketball hoop on the entire Dartmouth campus. The passion for playing for basketball here seems inversely correlated with number of inconvenient places people leave their bikes (in the middle of the fucking sidewalk? Really?).
The workers at the Dirt Cowboy have yet to, in any systematized fashion, give me the same beverage item after I order a “double-shot iced Americano.” It should be noted here that this is exactly what the menu refers to it as, so I’m not asking for anything specialized. I have received:
- A half-full take-out cup with two shots of espresso and no water
- A half-full take-out cup with two shots of espresso and a metallic pitcher for hot water (I considered taking it with me, but the anti-theft morality meter inside told me no.)
- A full take-out cup with two shots of espresso and water
- An iced coffee (I’m pretty sure)
Now I’m not a huge coffee snob, but the unpredictability of the simple act of ordering espresso and water at a place claiming title of “Best Coffee in New Hampshire” has driven me to Starbucks. The girl who works at the Starbucks inside the Barnes and Noble (read: Dartmouth Bookstore) has a bit of a hipster thing going, which, through a thirty minute period of deep scientific statistical analysis, has led me to believe that somewhere, hidden away, there are more of them.
Most food places serve take-out beverages in cups made of corn. These cups, as Boloco suggests, are 100% degradable, “no matter what you do with them.” What if I coat it in non-biodegradable plastic? Game. Set. Match. The fact that the cup is entirely biodegradable is probably a plus, but the fact that the creation of cups entirely out of corn is helping to prop up an industry that is 1) seriously polluting the environment, 2) pushing out small farmers from the production sphere, and 3) leading to food poisoning, is a bit disquieting.
Odwalla is available in nearly every establishment inside Hanover. The Novack Library Cafe, where I had hoped to purchase said Odwalla, closes at around 9:00 pm. The library, however, is open until 2 am on some nights and 12 am on others, creating a serious beverage quandary for those select few who I would describe as “nerds.” Given the anti-proximity of any other Odwalla retailer, it’s essentially Frat beer or nothing.
Supposedly, in the basement of an un-named-for-their-honor fraternity, an un-named-for-her-honor woman was serving an all-you-can-fellate buffet. I’m a big fan of buffets, but for the same reason that I skip places generically called “China Buffet,” I did not attend.
The forest near the cemetery has a bug population that, at least perceptually, seems about equivalent to that of the Amazon. I’ve never been to the Amazon, so this is educated guessery, but if I’m wrong in my presumptive assumptions about Amazonian insect life, insert a more ideal forest in your head. These bugs turned my legs into an all-you-can-eat buffet. Proving that, no matter what species you are, the buffet is a popular option.
The average temperature over the last week has been 94 (I’m not a meteorologist, but that seems about right based on my internal thermometer). When I saw the rain begin to fall last night, I wept about the beauty of the soon-to-arrive cold. It did not arrive soon enough, however, and I woke up today, for I believe the first time in my life, drenched in sweat, a state akin to the brother in Infinite Jest.
I’m Bradley Garrison Bolman, this is Hanover, and today I felt cold for the first time in weeks.
