Dear Ebay Suggestions Email Team,
I have reason to believe you do not, in fact, exist as a fixed entity, but more likely a robotic/database operation. You will be addressed like a human to increase the level of politeness of this email. So you noticed I bought Infamous for 14 dollars? Me too. It’s weird then that for your suggestions of what I might buy, you sent me three different versions of Infamous being sold. As if, having purchased one copy of this single-player video game without online gameplay, you thought that I might decide that the first experience wasn’t quite what I expected. And that, contrary to the logical choice, starting over, that I would instead re-purchase another copy of Infamous, and pay the shipping fees. That’s dumb, sure, but I’m sure a few people on Ebay are sort of stupid, given the overall intelligence level of people in the world and also the fact that a shocking amount of people are still sort of figuring out the internet (like, this used to be funny, but what the fuck, people, it’s very simple, you click, you go, you wait, done.). But what made less sense was that your other suggestion of what I might want was a PS3. Of course, having bought the game a month ago, the only thing I’ve been doing for the last three weeks is TRYING, and FAILING, to find a PS3 that I can play it on. Thank you, so much, for kindly pointing me in the direction of two (oh you found three? You spoil me, Ebay) of these devices so that I can FINALLY enjoy my previous purchase. No. I obviously own one. That’s why I haven’t bought a second fuckin’ PS3 recently. Maybe, I thought, if Ebay suggested some other games that I was interested in, MAYBE I would consider looking at them. No, instead, you’ve pushed me to tell GMail that your messages are spam. And when GMail asked if I was sure, I shouted “Fuck yes!” and hit the button. And I feel bad about it, I honestly do, because I know it’s not really spam, but it’s your fault. This could be remedied.
Sincerely,
Brad Bolman
