Imagine two suit jacketed boys seated in desks in front of a large audience of people. One boy stands, ready to deliver an oration qua snarky, Southern drawl on the quirks and eccentricities of the C.I.A.’s covert involvement in Iran…
Snoozefest. That’s the past and this is now, so there has to be something better, right? Enter policy debate. It’s like a presidential debate on ‘roids combined with a little heady politico-philosophical jargon and a hefty bit of International Relations theory. Or, more simply, two teams of two people attempting to make the other team look like fools about issues far beyond the intellectual capacities of your average high schooler. (This is not to say that you are stupid, but until a student can come up to me and literately argue either pro or con for United States assention into the UNCLOS or the ability of Lacanian theory to be applied to modern politics, then we’ll talk.) Now, imagine all of this discussion being done at speeds from 250-400 words per minute. As fun as it is exciting, as entertaining as it is time-consuming. Policy debate is the single greatest school activity you will sign up for. It’s got the research of newspaper, the computers from computer club, the sex appeal from fashion club, the fancy-pants intellect of book club, the political involvement without the ignorance of Liberals and Conservatives club, and the delicious food of cooking club. Debate is kind of like an auto-replenishing refrigerator: it’s all you’ll ever need (for sustenance).
The activity is simple, every round one team will affirm a topic and one team will negate. The only rule in debate are the speech time limits. Everything else is… up for debate. Get it? It’s funny because the sport is called debate… The cool beans bit is that you can affirm or negate from literally any angle. You could rap, you could dance, or you could just read an enormous amount of research that you’ve done. The options are endless and the space for creativity is enormous.
I’ve seen debate rounds won on the argument that federal government bill texts are racist, that bombing Iran is good, that humanity must traverse the psychoanalytical fantasy to break down capitalism, that nuclear winter will engulf the entirety of the world bringing food production to a standstill and cause the extinction of the entire human race. In an essence, policy debate is a forum for ideas, both ridiculous and not, to be interrogated and better understood. Policy debate helped me to near-perfect History test grades on international history, gave me a new ability to discuss almost any issue, regardless of whether or not I have any knowledge about it, and brought incredible research know-ho to my table.
Debate also brought a lot of trophies and plaques and medals to my mantle. It made me and a host of fellow fools top-ranked debaters in the nation. And you can be that guy/girl too! Now, you’re probably saying “I’m not smart enough” or “I don’t have time.” Neither is true because debate is the great equalizer. Anyone can become good if they’re willing to try, and just like Pringles, once you pop the fun don’t stop. You might be busy, but so is everyone on the team and trust me there’s still plenty of time for anyone else your heart could desire.
At the end of the day, all this article is is a typed-up infomercial. SHAMWOW! In one minute the majority of you will walk away and forget you ever read this piece of demi-propaganda or any other articles in the paper forever, or, you can change that. You can be like “Heck yeah, I wanna debatez!” Making a change in your life used to equal starting a diet, but not anymore. Unless by starting a diet you mean a diet from lameness… by joining debate. That joke wasn’t good, but debate is. Here’s how to do it: 1. Contact anyone on the team, 2. Email pembrokedebate@gmail.com 3. Talk to Mr. Douglas Miller. SHAMWOW! If you’d prefer nobody know you are on the debate team, don’t worry, we understand.
This Is Debate – Rejected by The Voice
Imagine two suit jacketed boys seated in desks in front of a large audience of people. One boy stands, ready to deliver an oration qua snarky, Southern drawl on the quirks and eccentricities of the C.I.A.’s covert involvement in Iran…
Snoozefest. That’s the past and this is now, so there has to be something better, right? Enter policy debate. It’s like a presidential debate on ‘roids combined with a little heady politico-philosophical jargon and a hefty bit of International Relations theory. Or, more simply, two teams of two people attempting to make the other team look like fools about issues far beyond the intellectual capacities of your average high schooler. (This is not to say that you are stupid, but until a student can come up to me and literately argue either pro or con for United States assention into the UNCLOS or the ability of Lacanian theory to be applied to modern politics, then we’ll talk.) Now, imagine all of this discussion being done at speeds from 250-400 words per minute. As fun as it is exciting, as entertaining as it is time-consuming. Policy debate is the single greatest school activity you will sign up for. It’s got the research of newspaper, the computers from computer club, the sex appeal from fashion club, the fancy-pants intellect of book club, the political involvement without the ignorance of Liberals and Conservatives club, and the delicious food of cooking club. Debate is kind of like an auto-replenishing refrigerator: it’s all you’ll ever need (for sustenance).
The activity is simple, every round one team will affirm a topic and one team will negate. The only rule in debate are the speech time limits. Everything else is… up for debate. Get it? It’s funny because the sport is called debate… The cool beans bit is that you can affirm or negate from literally any angle. You could rap, you could dance, or you could just read an enormous amount of research that you’ve done. The options are endless and the space for creativity is enormous.
I’ve seen debate rounds won on the argument that federal government bill texts are racist, that bombing Iran is good, that humanity must traverse the psychoanalytical fantasy to break down capitalism, that nuclear winter will engulf the entirety of the world bringing food production to a standstill and cause the extinction of the entire human race. In an essence, policy debate is a forum for ideas, both ridiculous and not, to be interrogated and better understood. Policy debate helped me to near-perfect History test grades on international history, gave me a new ability to discuss almost any issue, regardless of whether or not I have any knowledge about it, and brought incredible research know-ho to my table.
Debate also brought a lot of trophies and plaques and medals to my mantle. It made me and a host of fellow fools top-ranked debaters in the nation. And you can be that guy/girl too! Now, you’re probably saying “I’m not smart enough” or “I don’t have time.” Neither is true because debate is the great equalizer. Anyone can become good if they’re willing to try, and just like Pringles, once you pop the fun don’t stop. You might be busy, but so is everyone on the team and trust me there’s still plenty of time for anyone else your heart could desire.
At the end of the day, all this article is is a typed-up infomercial. SHAMWOW! In one minute the majority of you will walk away and forget you ever read this piece of demi-propaganda or any other articles in the paper forever, or, you can change that. You can be like “Heck yeah, I wanna debatez!” Making a change in your life used to equal starting a diet, but not anymore. Unless by starting a diet you mean a diet from lameness… by joining debate. That joke wasn’t good, but debate is. Here’s how to do it: 1. Contact anyone on the team, 2. Email pembrokedebate@gmail.com 3. Talk to Mr. Douglas Miller. SHAMWOW! If you’d prefer nobody know you are on the debate team, don’t worry, we understand.
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