Debate Yearbook Article (Censored)

Yearbook Debate Article
By (mostly) Brad Bolman and Isaac Alpert and Peter Vale

Spotted: Debate Team

We will start by acknowledging that to properly explain how fantastic this year has been, we would need reams and reams of paper and the intelligence of someone like Dr. Carl Graves. However, because those aren’t accessible to us, we’ll give you, a top 9 list.

1. We talked about a lot of stuff, and also argued about a lot of stuff. Like, “Should the US federal government increase social services?” “Should America increase the surge in Afghanistan?” or “Should Wanda ask Thomas to WPA?” Throughout these hard times in the American recession, many have lost their imagination. But fear not fearful reader, just like Mary J. Blige, WE’VE STILL GOT IT!

2. This is the first year that Pembroke has qualified multiple teams to the Tournament of Champions. It’s also the first time anyone in Missouri has ever competed at the TOC. So, the debate team just broke a 50 year historical record in Missouri in the period of about 4 years.

3. I heard some of ya’ll don’t think we can public speak: well we can, through written words.

4. Mr Miller exaggerated a LOT! He threatened to kill me if this article wasn’t turned in on time. Secret: I turned it in late, still alive!

5. Our I.E. team (Katie et al.) won a ton of stuff. She’s a one-woman wrecking machine of humorous and oratorical power.

6. A lot of freshman joined the team. This year has been an amazing year for recruitment. There’s so many of them, Lewis is actually having a hard time deciding which one of them he wants to date.

7. Matt Frankland’s sister is a shockingly interesting person.

8. We brought home a ton of sweet trophies: 1) “In case you couldn’t tell, this is a cannon” 2) Trophies in the state of Texas and 3) Plates. This year has taught everyone vital life skills: Thomas has learned to swallow pills without peanut-butter (jk, he’s still trying), Peter has learned how to read faster using the force, and Isaac has met expectations, repeatedly.

9. Grant Barnow (R.I.P.) has been a vital source of exterior motivation for the team that he is no longer a member of. (He quit). Walter has filled his position with charm and grace, and he has done incredibly in student congress. Every tournament, I wake up a little happier knowing that Walter is bringing the hammer to the Student Congress.

All in all, we never would’ve spent our time in any other room in the school than the debate room. You probably don’t even know who any of us are.

XOXO, DB8 Team

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